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He Loves Me, She Loves Me Not: The Debate on Love in Austen's Emma Emma, written in 1815 by Jane Austen, explores the institution of marriage within nineteenth century British society. Each character is weaved into the story and creates debates regarding marriage and the role men and women portray when considering the prospect of marriage. Austen also explores what each gender benefits from a union. The view Emma has toward marriage, and how these views change once she finds a compatible partner, Mr. Knightley, is a central theme throughout the novel. Once she is reassured of the love Mr. Knightley has expressed, Emma is able to break through the walls she has created around herself and enter into a union in a positive manner. As Emma’s character develops, Austen explores marriage and why Emma, a woman of high society would chose to remain unmarried. Austen demonstrates the independence Emma experiences within her family home when she states, "'I have none of the usual inducements of women to marry…I believe few married women are half as much mistress of their husband’s house, as I am of Hartfield; and never, never could I expect to be so truly beloved and important; so always first and always right in any man’s eyes as I am in my father’s'" (82). Emma’s statement indicates the value she places on the independence her father has encouraged within their home. Emma expresses the need she has to be respected if she were to marry, and most importantly she must feel the love her father has bestowed on her, by the man she may marry. Emma supports this view of remaining unmarried when she states to Harriet, "'But a single woman, of good fortune, is always respectable, and may be as sensible and pleasant as anybody else'" (83). This statement indicates Emma’s resolve to keep her place within society should she chose not to marry, and that marriage should not define a woman. Emma’s view toward marriage is not a frivolous one. She has very strong opinion, early on, regarding the role each gender must play within a union, and why these roles are important. Emma’s remark to Harriet demonstrates that Emma does not believe in marrying for amusement sake. This statement also indicates that a woman must be independent and willfully choose her own mate based on love, rather than necessity. When Harriet asks how she will support herself if she is never to marry, Emma states, "'Mine is an active, busy mind, with a great many independent resources"" (83). This statement reinforces Emma’s independence, and the opinion she has regarding financial support. During this conversation, Emma clearly indicates marriage should not be based on one’s financial stability, but on love and equality within the union. As determined as Emma is to remain unmarried, and still be an important part of society, her sentiments change once Mr. Knightley expresses his intentions toward her. One can see, as the novel progresses, that Emma and Mr. Knightley both possess a fondness for one another. Emma does not realize her own feelings for Mr. Knightley until Harriet expresses how wonderful he is. Emma finally does her heart justice when she admits, "'Mr. Knightley must marry no one but herself'" (382). Mr. Knightley does not become aware of his love for Emma until she and Frank Churchill begin to spend more time together. In fact, it is when Frank finally confesses his love for Jane that Mr. Knightley makes a hasty return to the countryside in hopes of comforting a rejected Emma. Once Mr. Knightley expresses his love for Emma, she is able to embrace the idea of a union and also realizes she can accept the marriage institution once love is in the equation. This is demonstrated as follows: "'Her change was equal—This one half hour had given to each the same precious certainty of being beloved, had cleared from each the same degree of ignorance, jealousy or distrust'" (405). This statement demonstrates not only the change Emma has toward the institution of marriage, but also Mr. Knightley’s sense of relief once he has expressed his intentions toward Emma. Recognizing her own love prompts Emma to change her mind on the issue of marriage. Once Emma understands that her opinion has changed, she is able to begin her transformation into a union with Mr. Knightley. The full realization of Emma’s change in attitude, regarding the marriage institution, is stated in chapter 54 when she is discussing Harriet and Mr. Martin’s upcoming marriage with Mr. Knightley: ‘I am perfectly
satisfied,’ replied Emma, with the brightest smiles, ‘and most sincerely wish them happy.’ This passage reinforces the transformation Emma’s character has toward marriage. Not only does she perceive marriage as an institution which is a joyous event, but she also views her past attitude toward marriage as foolish and not fully realized. Thus, Emma is able to enter into a relationship with Mr. Knightley with an open heart and mind. This is supported in the following passage when she is reflecting on the importance of earning Mr. Knightley’s respect: "Nothing, but the lessons of her past folly might teach her humility and circumspection in future" (445). Emma hopes to learn from her past mistakes regarding her opinion of the marriage institution, admit these mistakes, and apply them to her relationship with Mr. Knightley. Much of Emma’s reluctance to marry stems from societies view of marriage and the position she must play if she were to marry. Nineteenth-century women lost much of their independence upon marriage, a fact Emma is not quite willing to give up. R. E. Hughes, in “The Education of Emma Woodhouse,” states, "But she is just as naïve in her notions of society, and as soon as love and a particular definition of society are brought face to face, we are invited to move outside the novel’s framework. The spirit of society is liquid, shifting…"(70). This statement refers not only to the changing characters and their actions throughout the novel, but also the changing expectations of the society Emma is a part of. Hughes continues by stating, "The state of society beyond Highbury and Randalls is not the same as it once was: no society ever is. Emma must also be educated in this respect" (70). Emma’s experience, once she steps out of the self-imposed boundaries she has surrounded herself in, becomes one of the catalysts in Emma’s transformation toward a union with Mr. Knightley. Once Emma embraces the idea of a marriage, not only based on love, but outside of society's expectations, she can move forward and accept a relationship with Mr. Knightley. Hughes also states, "She [Emma] must learn that there are factors at work of which she had no notion, in this case the possibility of a passion not to be dictated to by economic details" (73). In other words, economics do not need to be a reason to marry, but rather a complement to the marriage. Emma learns that love can, and must, enter the marriage equation. As Hughes indicates, "Emma’s education has finally been completed. What she has had to learn is to admit the outside into her experience…" (74). By going outside of her boundaries, not only in relationships, but also in society, Emma is able to enter into marriage with a new perspective. She can appreciate not only what she as a woman can bring to the union, but also the relationship between her and Mr. Knightley can grow. In the beginning Mr. Knightley and Emma’s
awakening to their new love is a joyous time, and there is no thought to the
particulars of marriage. However, when Emma and Knightley first speak of
their impending marriage, she is apprehensive because she must leave
her family home and her father. Emma denounces the claim that they marry by
saying, "'While her dear father lived, any change of condition must be
impossible for her. She could never quit him'" (419). Mr. Knightley moves
out of society's expectations when he agrees to move in with the Woodhouse
family. This arrangement appears to suit all involved, and the reader is
left with a sense that Mr. Knightley is more chivalrous than first assumed.
Mr. Knightley displays his superior attributes when his wife and
father-in-law's needs supersede his own. Mrs. Weston remarks of Mr. Knightley’s self-sacrifice by stating,
"'How very few of those men in a rank
of life to address Emma would have renounced their own home for Hartfield!
And who but Mr. Knightley could know and bear with Mr. Woodhouse, so as to
make such an arrangement desirable!...It was a union of the highest promise
of felicity in itself'" (437). Essentially, Mrs. Weston is stating that Mr. Knightley is a loving husband, willing to sacrifice his wants for that of
Emma’s. How could she be anything but happy!
Works Cited Hughes, R. E. “The Education of Emma Woodhouse.” Nineteenth-Century
Fiction 16
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